When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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