y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
