ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
