Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
