Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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