Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
