with your own penis?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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