Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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