i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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