oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize