I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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