but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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