So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
