you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
