Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
