those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
