She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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