in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
