I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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