Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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