im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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