His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
