I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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