I'm going to jail i love you
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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