garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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