Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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