im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
