I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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