Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
