ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
