oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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