Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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