i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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