are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
