I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
