babies were throwing up all over the place
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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