The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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