Whatcha textin bout Willis?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
