She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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