dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
