butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
