I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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