i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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