Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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