hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
