so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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