Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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