Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
