Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
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I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize