Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize