she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
