I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
