I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
