Got a toothbrush?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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