did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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