You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
