The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
