I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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