the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
