did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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