you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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