piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
even my farts smell like vagina
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
