At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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