If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
