He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
